








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2139 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 518 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 642 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,138 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyring | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | Slíckz | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Maybe | 65% | 55 |
| #4 | MoJo | 62% | 78 |
| #5 | Kromann! | 60% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyring | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | Slíckz | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Maybe | 65% | 55 |
| #4 | MoJo | 62% | 78 |
| #5 | Kromann! | 60% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoJo | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Nyring | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Slíckz | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Kromann! | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Maybe | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kromann! | 344 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Nyring | 328 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #3 | Maybe | 238 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | MoJo | 172 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Slíckz | 23 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | +2.53 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | Maybe | +0.42 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | MoJo | +0.04 | 49 | 62 |
| #4 | Kromann! | -0.40 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | Nyring | -0.54 | 67 | 68 |





