








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2462 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1429 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 622 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1411 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,393 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slíckz | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | dmT | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | Maybe | 58% | 89 |
| #4 | Nyring | 58% | 81 |
| #5 | MoJo | 56% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slíckz | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | dmT | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | Maybe | 58% | 89 |
| #4 | Nyring | 58% | 81 |
| #5 | MoJo | 56% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Nyring | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Maybe | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Slíckz | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | MoJo | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyring | 548 | 0.31 | 13 min |
| #2 | dmT | 530 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #3 | Maybe | 345 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | MoJo | 256 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Slíckz | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | +2.23 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | Maybe | +1.15 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Kromann! | -0.32 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | MoJo | -0.74 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | Slíckz | -0.78 | 63 | 63 |





