








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1436 | 39% |
| Smokes | 809 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 810 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,778 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | Maybe | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | MoJo | 60% | 70 |
| #4 | Kromann! | 58% | 81 |
| #5 | Slíckz | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | Maybe | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | MoJo | 60% | 70 |
| #4 | Kromann! | 58% | 81 |
| #5 | Slíckz | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Kromann! | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | MoJo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Maybe | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Slíckz | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kromann! | 399 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | dmT | 346 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #3 | Maybe | 201 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | MoJo | 134 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Slíckz | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | +2.49 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | Maybe | +1.82 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Slíckz | -0.33 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | MoJo | -0.44 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | Kromann! | -0.46 | 67 | 57 |





