








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1328 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1507 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1704 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 820 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,418 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | 62% | 78 |
| #2 | Maybe | 61% | 83 |
| #3 | Slíckz | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Nyring | 60% | 70 |
| #5 | Kromann! | 56% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | 62% | 78 |
| #2 | Maybe | 61% | 83 |
| #3 | Slíckz | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Nyring | 60% | 70 |
| #5 | Kromann! | 56% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Nyring | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Maybe | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Kromann! | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Slíckz | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kromann! | 657 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | dmT | 552 | 0.33 | 15 min |
| #3 | Nyring | 455 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #4 | Maybe | 320 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Slíckz | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmT | +2.41 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | Maybe | +0.73 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Kromann! | -0.15 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | MoJo | -0.64 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | Nyring | -0.75 | 66 | 66 |





