










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 10% |
| Smokes | 605 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 781 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 934 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,256 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | enz0o0o0Zi | 25% | 12 |
| #12 | niggi | 23% | 30 |
| #13 | 𝖀𝝩𝝤𝝦Í☪𝝤 | 18% | 44 |
| #14 | RanDy; | 11% | 9 |
| #15 | Dolapessi | 11% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | once | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | ElNeneBoo | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | 𝖊𝖓3 : 𝕯'𝖔𝖗 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | 𝖀𝝩𝝤𝝦Í☪𝝤 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | DIEGOsanh | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖊𝖓3 : 𝕯'𝖔𝖗 | 272 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | 𝖀𝝩𝝤𝝦Í☪𝝤 | 121 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | niggi | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | once | 47 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | DIEGOsanh | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |





