








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5549 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3691 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 8326 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 5468 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,799,873 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | z4! | 54% | 87 |
| #9 | ElNeneBoo | 51% | 319 |
| #10 | 𝖊𝖓3 : 𝕯'𝖔𝖗 | 50% | 395 |
| #11 | 𝖀𝝩𝝤𝝦Í☪𝝤 | 48% | 62 |
| #12 | reggÆ;🐺 ❟❛❟ G❤ | 46% | 61 |





