










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2067 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2109 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1457 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1968 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,308 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | reggΓ;πΊ βββ Gβ€ | 38% | 47 |
| #12 | RanDy; | 36% | 25 |
| #13 | Dolapessi | 35% | 40 |
| #14 | niggi | 34% | 35 |
| #15 | F E I T A N | 18% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ3 : π―'ππ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | MitDiRG | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | once | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | z4! | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Dolapessi | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππ3 : π―'ππ | 296 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | enz0o0o0Zi | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | reggΓ;πΊ βββ Gβ€ | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | RanDy; | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dolapessi | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |





