








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 717 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3464 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 1651 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,439 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | once | 57% | 364 |
| #2 | 𝖀𝝩𝝤𝝦Í☪𝝤 | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | G U R U K O | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | z4! | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | DaGnaSus | 52% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | once | 25 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | G U R U K O | 12 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | 𝖊𝖓3 : 𝕯'𝖔𝖗 | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | DaGnaSus | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | DIEGOsanh | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖊𝖓3 : 𝕯'𝖔𝖗 | 655 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | DIEGOsanh | 394 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | DaGnaSus | 284 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | G U R U K O | 226 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | once | 177 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | once | +5.48 | 78 | 19 |
| #2 | z4! | +3.34 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | DaGnaSus | +0.90 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | G U R U K O | -0.13 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | ElNeneBoo | -0.15 | 57 | 29 |





