








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1226 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2398 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,927 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dimitri | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Rns#. | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Burd Pauperranger | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Modifact | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | NietKoel#. | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dilly | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | NietKoel#. | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Modifact | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Dimitri | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Nef | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dilly | 169 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Zwijnzak#. | 129 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dimitri | 108 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | NietKoel#. | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Modifact | 61 | 0.09 | 3 min |





