








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2184 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2510 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2249 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2488 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,637 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warulf | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | hUnt. | 58% | 118 |
| #3 | Qviztn =D | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | SuPaRu | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | tissin | 57% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | eskoo | 56% | 162 |
| #8 | mysin | 54% | 207 |
| #9 | 2meterdumheter | 48% | 58 |
| #10 | Blåbär Puff3 | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | Silver | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mysin | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Warulf | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | hUnt. | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | tissin | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Blåbär Puff3 | 2 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hUnt. | 479 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | eskoo | 458 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | mysin | 303 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | VoLi | 177 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | tissin | 123 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eskoo | +2.07 | 71 | 79 |
| #2 | Qviztn =D | +1.92 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | skäpz | +1.49 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | hUnt. | +1.42 | 82 | 82 |
| #5 | mysin | -0.03 | 66 | 55 |





