








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1112 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2020 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1452 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1333 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,952 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hUnt. | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | eskoo | 54% | 90 |
| #3 | skäpz | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | insy | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | tissin | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SuPaRu | 45% | 55 |
| #9 | Qviztn =D | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | Silver | 40% | 77 |
| #11 | VoLi | 39% | 75 |
| #12 | Warulf | 33% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mysin | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | eskoo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Silver | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | VoLi | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Warulf | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eskoo | 273 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | mysin | 260 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | hUnt. | 229 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | VoLi | 151 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Warulf | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eskoo | +2.69 | 73 | 80 |
| #2 | hUnt. | +2.02 | 78 | 81 |
| #3 | mysin | +1.33 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | Qviztn =D | +1.26 | 78 | 80 |
| #5 | skäpz | +0.95 | 86 | 63 |





