








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4856 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4291 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5312 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4096 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,044,332 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DBill | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | CoSλ | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | Manu | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | EpiczTW | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | JOKERztw | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | rromain | 45% | 60 |
| #7 | Cyrano de Bergerac | 43% | 35 |
| #8 | ♠M A N O W A R♠ | 42% | 52 |
| #9 | Candy In My Pants | 39% | 79 |
| #10 | Lolywiz | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Candy In My Pants | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | rromain | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | CoSλ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ♠M A N O W A R♠ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | JOKERztw | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Candy In My Pants | 470 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | rromain | 340 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #3 | ♠M A N O W A R♠ | 266 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | JOKERztw | 266 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #5 | EpiczTW | 146 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrano de Bergerac | +3.94 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | JOKERztw | +1.65 | 63 | 83 |
| #3 | rromain | +1.46 | 48 | 80 |
| #4 | Jean-Luc Mashallah | +1.01 | 62 | 62 |
| #5 | DBill | +0.39 | 50 | 74 |





