








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1660 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1359 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2290 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1638 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,937 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKZ | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Keita | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | bayf | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | srrl^ | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | flankdog | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SkidZ | 53% | 78 |
| #10 | Tummon | 52% | 67 |
| #11 | wingie | 52% | 125 |
| #12 | Big Knox | 47% | 64 |
| #13 | THE KING DEEZY | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bevvenator | 14 | 0.0286 |
| #2 | RossR | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | wingie | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | flankdog | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | THE KING DEEZY | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RossR | 1076 | 0.36 | 30 min |
| #2 | wingie | 615 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | SkidZ | 269 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tummon | 227 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | flankdog | 146 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srrl^ | +6.10 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | bevvenator | +3.81 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | RossR | +2.88 | 85 | 79 |
| #4 | bayf | +1.91 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | SkidZ | +1.60 | 73 | 65 |





