








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1786 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 138 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 60,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13979 | 23% |
| Smokes | 15438 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 17813 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 13325 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,963,503 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rodriguez | 81% | 112 |
| #2 | Angre Doge | 80% | 103 |
| #3 | BobaFEET | 77% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rodriguez | 81% | 112 |
| #2 | Angre Doge | 80% | 103 |
| #3 | BobaFEET | 77% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobaFEET | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Rodriguez | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Angre Doge | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobaFEET | 241 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Angre Doge | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rodriguez | 233 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobaFEET | +2.67 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | DEFINE | +1.17 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | Rodriguez | +1.06 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | Angre Doge | +0.66 | 79 | 70 |





