










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Esplay | 23 matches | 1,691 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2767 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2275 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2622 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1036 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,931 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banges | 64% | 66 |
| #2 | Stöbbe | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | Hanedo | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Taback | 55% | 183 |
| #5 | Dominosaurus 6 | 53% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hanedo | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Taback | 55% | 183 |
| #5 | Dominosaurus 6 | 53% | 196 |
| #6 | YEEZY KATKA <3 | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | hillottelija | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dominosaurus 6 | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Taback | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Stöbbe | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | hillottelija | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Banges | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taback | 794 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | Dominosaurus 6 | 343 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hanedo | 246 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #4 | Stöbbe | 164 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Banges | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stöbbe | +2.70 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | Taback | +1.55 | 54 | 70 |
| #3 | sm3sh | +0.71 | 64 | 68 |
| #4 | Hanedo | -0.11 | 65 | 69 |
| #5 | YEEZY KATKA <3 | -1.01 | 62 | 40 |





