








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2927 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3391 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1664 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2500 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,141 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | juustohoyla | 47% | 17 |
| #12 | Stöbbe | 46% | 54 |
| #13 | hillottelija | 45% | 33 |
| #14 | Luotsi | 41% | 17 |
| #15 | RaQu | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dominosaurus 6 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Hordy Jones | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | klovni | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Taback | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Stöbbe | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imbakana | 540 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | klovni | 217 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Taback | 190 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hordy Jones | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dominosaurus 6 | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stöbbe | +2.47 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | Imbakana | +1.87 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Taback | +1.55 | 57 | 69 |
| #4 | sm3sh | +0.84 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | klovni | +0.27 | 68 | 65 |





