








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1025 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Esplay | 27 matches | 1,897 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2508 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3217 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4606 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2253 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,710,372 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banges | 57% | 160 |
| #2 | sm3sh | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | Taback | 53% | 395 |
| #4 | Dominosaurus 6 | 53% | 353 |
| #5 | hillottelija | 52% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hillottelija | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | 𝐥𝐢𝐚 ✮⋆˙ | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Dominosaurus 6 | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Taback | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | sm3sh | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taback | 1611 | 0.20 | 47 min |
| #2 | Dominosaurus 6 | 604 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Banges | 338 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | 𝐥𝐢𝐚 ✮⋆˙ | 332 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #5 | sm3sh | 322 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasuel | +4.77 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Stöbbe | +3.18 | 75 | 53 |
| #3 | Taback | +1.78 | 53 | 68 |
| #4 | sm3sh | +0.63 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | Hanedo | -0.13 | 68 | 74 |





