








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,427 | |
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 304 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8332 | 22% |
| Smokes | 11350 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 11205 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6329 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,525,242 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Psprtu | 51% | 63 |
| #7 | hillottelija | 51% | 164 |
| #8 | YEEZY KATKA <3 | 50% | 147 |
| #9 | BL4 | 46% | 69 |
| #10 | mONSTERmONNI | 33% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dominosaurus 6 | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | hillottelija | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Stöbbe | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Taback | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Psprtu | 4 | 0.0031 |





