








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4268 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4755 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4820 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4463 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,971 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | axel | 44% | 171 |
| #14 | lartza | 43% | 42 |
| #15 | Zsumppi | 42% | 104 |
| #16 | RUMPPO | 42% | 91 |
| #17 | JerzND | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RUMPPO | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | axel | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Noa!m | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Zsumppi | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 4llwaysBad | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkisesti silver | 437 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | 4llwaysBad | 402 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | ♿Tsekkipiiska♿ | 269 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | axel | 248 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pixelrat | 218 | 0.20 | 7 min |





