








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 733 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9278 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7092 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 11334 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 9615 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,126,623 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4llwaysBad | 19 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Noa!m | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | SeksiB | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | axel | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Henkisesti silver | 6 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4llwaysBad | 1301 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #2 | Henkisesti silver | 854 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #3 | lartza | 482 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | NyyTTi ToPi =DDd | 467 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #5 | Noa!m | 462 | 0.12 | 11 min |





