








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1596 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2023 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2010 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1767 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,569 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toshii :> | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Flown | 71% | 72 |
| #3 | wiik | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Sosa | 60% | 166 |
| #5 | Fruktsalat | 58% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | teddy | 57% | 35 |
| #8 | Snellingen | 56% | 62 |
| #9 | aj | 54% | 131 |
| #10 | js | 54% | 24 |
| #11 | Potetsalat | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fruktsalat | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Sosa | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Flown | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | aj | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | js | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aj | 981 | 0.34 | 34 min |
| #2 | Fruktsalat | 461 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Sosa | 329 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Flown | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | teddy | 103 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiik | +2.86 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | Flown | +1.98 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | aj | +1.50 | 71 | 82 |
| #4 | Toshii :> | +0.88 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | teddy | +0.87 | 65 | 71 |





