








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 520 | 17% |
| Smokes | 566 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1169 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,632 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teddy | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Flown | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Grillsalat | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | NeXT - ogdans3 | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | Sosa | 56% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fruktsalat | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | NeXT - ogdans3 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Sosa | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | aj | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aj | 360 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #2 | NeXT - ogdans3 | 233 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fruktsalat | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sosa | 125 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Grillsalat | 76 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flown | +3.60 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | aj | +2.10 | 75 | 81 |
| #3 | teddy | +1.88 | 69 | 73 |
| #4 | js | +1.88 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | Fruktsalat | +1.30 | 73 | 58 |





