








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3078 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3654 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2806 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3289 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,571 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humble | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | YungOlof | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | ΑΡΗΣ | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | E.S.P | 59% | 78 |
| #5 | FrystFryspizza | 57% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | E.S.P | 59% | 78 |
| #5 | FrystFryspizza | 57% | 68 |
| #6 | Ibrahim Baylan | 57% | 178 |
| #7 | Lulz;)<3 | 54% | 28 |
| #8 | Ienart | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ibrahim Baylan | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | E.S.P | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | FrystFryspizza | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | YungOlof | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Humble | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ibrahim Baylan | 670 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | E.S.P | 422 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #3 | FrystFryspizza | 223 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | ΑΡΗΣ | 137 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | YungOlof | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humble | +2.01 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | Ibrahim Baylan | +1.76 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | Mythix | +1.57 | 90 | 67 |
| #4 | E.S.P | -0.11 | 65 | 79 |
| #5 | ΑΡΗΣ | -0.87 | 59 | 68 |





