








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2233 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2638 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3177 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2332 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,558 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | h4 | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | Anto | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | [-]PandoRa- | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | .bru | 50% | 24 |
| #13 | Natick ☆★✯★☆ | 50% | 34 |
| #14 | KaiiiKo | 49% | 37 |
| #15 | PONEY PONEY RUN RUN ! | 46% | 39 |
| #16 | bLd | 46% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaki.C | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | 👶TaR👶 | 11 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Anto | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | John-David[sc] | 4 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaki.C | 1023 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | bLd | 368 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | 👶TaR👶 | 236 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 171 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | KaiiiKo | 130 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +3.44 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | dim2k | +2.61 | 69 | 75 |
| #3 | Yaki.C | +2.15 | 85 | 75 |
| #4 | zalek | +2.14 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | h4 | +1.88 | 82 | 64 |





