








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4404 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5906 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2280 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4363 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,876,866 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palette | 52% | 109 |
| #2 | max | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | juliaN | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Natick ☆★✯★☆ | 50% | 56 |
| #5 | Yaki.C | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Natick ☆★✯★☆ | 50% | 56 |
| #5 | Yaki.C | 48% | 50 |
| #6 | Anto | 47% | 91 |
| #7 | Romi | 47% | 90 |
| #8 | Svetlana | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palette | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Anto | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Romi | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Yaki.C | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | juliaN | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palette | 315 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Yaki.C | 197 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | juliaN | 196 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Romi | 186 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Anto | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaki.C | +2.91 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Palette | +1.00 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | Romi | +0.51 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | PONEY PONEY RUN RUN ! | +0.41 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | max | -0.04 | 73 | 56 |





