








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 24% |
| Smokes | 726 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 498 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 567 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,058 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sMMoe | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | marmika | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Chillnub | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | V! | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | jokkimsen | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rubinstern | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | The Onion Jr | 40% | 45 |
| #10 | eellie01 | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | kulsi~ | 30% | 10 |
| #12 | Keli96 | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvistkløyværn | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | jokkimsen | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Lars | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Chillnub | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | V! | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Onion Jr | 323 | 0.34 | 10 min |
| #2 | jokkimsen | 191 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rubinstern | 88 | 0.43 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lars | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Keli96 | 59 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lars | +2.48 | 45 | 69 |
| #2 | Rubinstern | +2.45 | 73 | 74 |
| #3 | Chillnub | +2.01 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | Keli96 | +1.93 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | sMMoe | +1.16 | 49 | 73 |





