








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Esplay | 258 matches | 2,218 | |
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12147 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9357 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9098 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6274 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,130,565 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIMS | 65% | 97 |
| #2 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | SIMSY ツ | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | Ralph^^ | 58% | 69 |
| #5 | Laval66 | 58% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Laval66 | 58% | 52 |
| #6 | 001 | 58% | 59 |
| #7 | Lundinho | 57% | 70 |
| #8 | asK ? | 57% | 83 |
| #9 | Jungle Jonas | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 001 | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Jungle Jonas | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Ralph^^ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Laval66 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | SIMSY ツ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asK ? | 486 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | 001 | 302 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | GIMS | 299 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | SIMSY ツ | 239 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lundinho | 199 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0nabear | +3.16 | 83 | 82 |
| #2 | GIMS | +1.32 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +1.25 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | 001 | +1.05 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | SIMSY ツ | +0.67 | 91 | 71 |





