








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 56 matches | 2,153 | |
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1296 | 32% |
| Smokes | 884 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1005 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $246,349 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0nabear | 410 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | asK ? | 159 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | GIMS | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ralph^^ | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | +3.93 | 91 | 49 |
| #2 | hetz | +2.00 | 63 | 81 |
| #3 | GIMS | +1.70 | 85 | 75 |
| #4 | k0nabear | +1.59 | 79 | 85 |
| #5 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +1.09 | 79 | 65 |





