








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 258 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3311 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3488 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3137 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2531 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,310,994 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuFFeR | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | fredejohs | 58% | 67 |
| #3 | Kean | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Holm | 55% | 163 |
| #5 | MhJ | 54% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Remoy | 54% | 35 |
| #7 | MorPheuZ^ | 54% | 123 |
| #8 | Dialla | 52% | 172 |
| #9 | captainHADDOCK | 51% | 145 |
| #10 | alex | 50% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MhJ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Dialla | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | fredejohs | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Holm | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | captainHADDOCK | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 595 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | captainHADDOCK | 425 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | VuFFeR | 374 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #4 | MhJ | 206 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dialla | 201 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuFFeR | +4.51 | 71 | 79 |
| #2 | Remoy | +3.42 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | alex | +1.93 | 75 | 80 |
| #4 | fredejohs | +1.43 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | captainHADDOCK | +1.36 | 68 | 79 |





