








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 179 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2020 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1823 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1907 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,558 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MhJ | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Dialla | 57% | 143 |
| #6 | MorPheuZ^ | 57% | 114 |
| #7 | alex | 55% | 106 |
| #8 | Where's the confetti? | 55% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dialla | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Where's the confetti? | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | captainHADDOCK | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | alex | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 496 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | Where's the confetti? | 462 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | captainHADDOCK | 396 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Dialla | 157 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | MorPheuZ^ | 110 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fredejohs | +2.62 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | alex | +2.40 | 78 | 80 |
| #3 | captainHADDOCK | +1.93 | 70 | 79 |
| #4 | MhJ | +0.82 | 82 | 68 |
| #5 | Where's the confetti? | +0.20 | 67 | 67 |





