








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3704 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3291 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3296 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3136 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,058 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ R4MB0 | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Holm | 58% | 130 |
| #3 | MorPheuZ^ | 57% | 96 |
| #4 | fredejohs | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | valle | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dialla | 54% | 238 |
| #7 | alex | 53% | 83 |
| #8 | Where's the confetti? | 51% | 145 |
| #9 | Turbo_Sultan | 50% | 16 |
| #10 | MhJ | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dialla | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | alex | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Where's the confetti? | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Holm | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | MorPheuZ^ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Where's the confetti? | 426 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | alex | 345 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | Dialla | 306 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | valle | 148 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Holm | 89 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo_Sultan | +2.46 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | valle | +1.93 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | alex | +1.60 | 73 | 78 |
| #4 | captainHADDOCK | +1.41 | 69 | 77 |
| #5 | fredejohs | +1.29 | 75 | 72 |





