








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1925 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1979 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1726 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2013 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,067 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4 | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | KaiiiKo | 73% | 45 |
| #3 | zalek | 68% | 25 |
| #4 | 👶TaR👶 | 68% | 37 |
| #5 | Kyo* | 64% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 👶TaR👶 | 6 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | bLd | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Yaki.C | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | bisou | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | zalek | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 182 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | bLd | 153 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Yaki.C | 151 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | KaiiiKo | 144 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | chan`cyalan.com | 130 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +3.41 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | KAYMAAKjjang | +2.35 | 64 | 75 |
| #3 | h4 | +2.29 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | zalek | +2.22 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | 👶TaR👶 | +1.43 | 66 | 69 |





