








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1074 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1129 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1215 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 731 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,709 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | CBッ | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | teppo | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | aleksi4SHO | 25% | 8 |
| #13 | DvL | 13% | 8 |
| #14 | Wesku | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DvL | 2 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | flc/t/ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vilhardy | 145 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Haksutin | 117 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | CBッ | 71 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | flc/t/ | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | teppo | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |





