








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2987 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2368 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2452 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2137 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,351 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuuri | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | flc/t/ | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | ANSSi | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | ✪ Matu | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | testoma$a | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | sainiO👴 | 48% | 29 |
| #15 | FittuTeme | 48% | 27 |
| #16 | Wesku | 48% | 21 |
| #17 | Halinalle | 45% | 75 |
| #18 | aleksi4SHO | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lumiLAPIO | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Halinalle | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | tivo | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | CBッ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | sainiO👴 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CBッ | 350 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | lumiLAPIO | 242 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | teppo | 225 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | tuutti | 198 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | aleksi4SHO | 156 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Matu | +2.41 | 58 | 75 |
| #2 | tuutti | +1.87 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | tuuri | +1.72 | 83 | 73 |
| #4 | vilhardy | +1.67 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | tivo | +1.10 | 72 | 70 |





