








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 888 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1415 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,233 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahawleywood21 | 45% | 69 |
| #2 | o7Delta | 43% | 67 |
| #3 | Legendary Beagle Master | 39% | 66 |
| #4 | steaksausage | 35% | 181 |
| #5 | anvil & Iron | 29% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 22 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Legendary Beagle Master | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | anvil & Iron | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | allthingsruined | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | o7Delta | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 498 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | o7Delta | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Legendary Beagle Master | 156 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | stew | 61 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | ahawleywood21 | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | +4.74 | 45 | 65 |
| #2 | stew | +4.35 | 54 | 51 |
| #3 | o7Delta | +2.06 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Legendary Beagle Master | +1.17 | 32 | 50 |
| #5 | dalphabet | -0.50 | 42 | 48 |





