








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 190 | 13% |
| Smokes | 778 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 279 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,094 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legendary Beagle Master | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | o7Delta | 48% | 56 |
| #3 | steaksausage | 45% | 113 |
| #4 | VirusFreak | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | anvil & Iron | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legendary Beagle Master | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | o7Delta | 48% | 56 |
| #3 | steaksausage | 45% | 113 |
| #4 | VirusFreak | 45% | 69 |
| #5 | anvil & Iron | 34% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Legendary Beagle Master | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | anvil & Iron | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | VirusFreak | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | o7Delta | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 289 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | o7Delta | 172 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Legendary Beagle Master | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | VirusFreak | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | anvil & Iron | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | +4.71 | 48 | 62 |
| #2 | o7Delta | +3.67 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Legendary Beagle Master | +2.12 | 34 | 54 |
| #4 | VirusFreak | -1.57 | 18 | 43 |
| #5 | ahawleywood21 | -4.52 | 25 | 27 |





