








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2314 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1928 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2406 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2266 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,221 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLUMPEN | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | HyperKossan | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | hmm | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | SsWaP™ | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | Freiijd | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ruusk | 49% | 55 |
| #8 | bobz | 49% | 276 |
| #9 | Robin ;> | 43% | 152 |
| #10 | henx | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | wakkElitO_o | 33% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobz | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Freiijd | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | SsWaP™ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | wakkElitO_o | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Calle Wonderchild | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freiijd | 514 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Robin ;> | 469 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | bobz | 378 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | SsWaP™ | 375 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | Calle Wonderchild | 227 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freiijd | +2.55 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | Calle Wonderchild | +1.91 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | Ruusk | +1.34 | 55 | 72 |
| #4 | KLUMPEN | +1.02 | 81 | 41 |
| #5 | hmm | +0.66 | 70 | 63 |





