








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3251 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3299 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2975 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2488 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,245 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruusk | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | HyperKossan | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | Breaking Wolvie | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | wakkElitO_o | 51% | 90 |
| #5 | Robin ;> | 51% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Robin ;> | 51% | 92 |
| #6 | bobz | 51% | 148 |
| #7 | Calle Wonderchild | 50% | 183 |
| #8 | Weuffelhjaern | 50% | 105 |
| #9 | SsWaP™ | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobz | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Calle Wonderchild | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Robin ;> | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Weuffelhjaern | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | HyperKossan | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin ;> | 303 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Calle Wonderchild | 240 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | wakkElitO_o | 220 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Weuffelhjaern | 197 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | bobz | 178 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freiijd | +2.33 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | Calle Wonderchild | +0.79 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | Ruusk | -0.02 | 45 | 71 |
| #4 | bobz | -0.11 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Robin ;> | -0.55 | 59 | 75 |





