








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 328 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5020 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5063 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3627 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3920 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,137 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | bobz | 50% | 304 |
| #8 | Calle Wonderchild | 50% | 177 |
| #9 | SsWaP™ | 49% | 132 |
| #10 | henx | 46% | 80 |
| #11 | Weuffelhjaern | 43% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruusk | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Calle Wonderchild | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Freiijd | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | bobz | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | henx | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freiijd | 413 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | bobz | 407 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | SsWaP™ | 407 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ruusk | 375 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | hmm | 329 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calle Wonderchild | +2.42 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | Freiijd | +1.86 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | Ruusk | +1.28 | 58 | 70 |
| #4 | hmm | +0.94 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | bobz | +0.40 | 71 | 58 |





