








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 926 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6154 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5395 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 11752 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 8429 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,985,725 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Bay | 48% | 244 |
| #10 | crosea | 45% | 391 |
| #11 | SHAY | 44% | 334 |
| #12 | Not JWONG | 42% | 124 |
| #13 | splix. | 42% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evann | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Clavis | 11 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Bay | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | crosea | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Aim? | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clavis | 2067 | 0.16 | 50 min |
| #2 | crosea | 1744 | 0.21 | 51 min |
| #3 | LaiN | 704 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #4 | Aim? | 636 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #5 | Evann | 483 | 0.07 | 12 min |





