








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2056 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2808 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2434 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1816 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,173 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | RoLLo | 48% | 244 |
| #10 | zip.eXiLe | 45% | 99 |
| #11 | splix. | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | hoaX** | 41% | 32 |
| #13 | SHAY | 37% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RoLLo | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Evann | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Clavis | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | cfraNks512 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | zip.eXiLe | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clavis | 618 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | nBdy | 573 | 0.34 | 15 min |
| #3 | cfraNks512 | 470 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | crosea | 377 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #5 | RoLLo | 367 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bay | +1.81 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | RoLLo | +1.62 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | nBdy | +1.60 | 59 | 70 |
| #4 | LaiN | +1.21 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | jrG- | +1.05 | 70 | 74 |





