








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 618 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5100 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4702 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3376 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3413 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,885 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | isdiot | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Neddð | 74% | 50 |
| #3 | CpN | 71% | 21 |
| #4 | Freddy | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | Larni | 71% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Hex | 60% | 20 |
| #14 | MSH | 59% | 27 |
| #15 | bxnskýi- | 58% | 96 |
| #16 | Luksusbums | 57% | 21 |
| #17 | Widepeek-Strike 2 | 56% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bxnskýi- | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Presi | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Neddð | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Freddy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Hex | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Presi | 286 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Widepeek-Strike 2 | 281 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | MeepMeep | 279 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | teityr | 176 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Neddð | 111 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | isdiot | +2.81 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | CpN | +2.60 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | bxnskýi- | +2.18 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | Capo | +2.06 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | Presi | +0.98 | 64 | 70 |





