








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 302 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2014 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2672 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3120 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2490 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,951 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Cipzil | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Mepsen 🧶 | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | NEMT | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | Akcin | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | MeepMeep | 61% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Presi | 53% | 64 |
| #15 | Hex | 50% | 34 |
| #16 | Neddð | 48% | 48 |
| #17 | teityr | 48% | 46 |
| #18 | COSA NOSTRA | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jepse | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Widepeek-Strike 2 | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Neddð | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | COSA NOSTRA | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Hex | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Widepeek-Strike 2 | 932 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | Capo | 634 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #3 | COSA NOSTRA | 226 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | MeepMeep | 201 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Presi | 195 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jepse | +2.18 | 87 | 78 |
| #2 | bxnskýi- | +1.83 | 89 | 62 |
| #3 | COSA NOSTRA | +1.17 | 76 | 76 |
| #4 | BOT Cipzil | +1.12 | 82 | 81 |
| #5 | Capo | +0.32 | 80 | 66 |





