








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 496 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2575 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2174 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2091 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1844 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $869,779 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaD | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | Capo | 70% | 82 |
| #3 | ☛mSn☚ | 65% | 43 |
| #4 | arne-- | 65% | 43 |
| #5 | isdiot | 63% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Larni | 52% | 50 |
| #16 | CpN | 50% | 12 |
| #17 | Un1que Madness | 46% | 13 |
| #18 | Luksusbums | 44% | 34 |
| #19 | MSH | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neddð | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | arne-- | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Freddy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Bibber0908 | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo | 459 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | teityr | 281 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | MeepMeep | 264 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | NEMT | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Luksusbums | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bxnskýi- | +2.70 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | CpN | +2.21 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | isdiot | +1.87 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Capo | +1.80 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | Hex | +1.13 | 90 | 62 |





