








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 239 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2540 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2659 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2280 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2439 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,144 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Neddð | 51% | 37 |
| #17 | ☛mSn☚ | 47% | 15 |
| #18 | teityr | 47% | 15 |
| #19 | Hex | 46% | 26 |
| #20 | COSA NOSTRA | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bxnskýi- | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | COSA NOSTRA | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Hex | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo | 483 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #2 | bxnskýi- | 303 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | COSA NOSTRA | 218 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | MSH | 196 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | MeepMeep | 163 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jepse | +2.56 | 85 | 77 |
| #2 | bxnskýi- | +1.65 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | COSA NOSTRA | +1.03 | 74 | 76 |
| #4 | CpN | +1.01 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Mepsen 🧶 | +0.44 | 86 | 66 |





