








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Esplay | 31 matches | 2,036 | |
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6460 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5538 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3806 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4230 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,993 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enox | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | naju | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | tMY | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | der discoköniG | 51% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | naju | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | tMY | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | der discoköniG | 51% | 108 |
| #6 | THEaiaN | 48% | 168 |
| #7 | suprsimn | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der discoköniG | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | THEaiaN | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | enox | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THEaiaN | 415 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | der discoköniG | 401 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | naju | 174 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | enox | 144 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | suprsimn | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enox | +1.47 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | hilL-.^ | +1.15 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | der discoköniG | +0.24 | 78 | 76 |
| #4 | naju | -0.29 | 60 | 77 |
| #5 | THEaiaN | -0.44 | 65 | 65 |





