








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,997 | |
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1101 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1184 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,370 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rille | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | LuckyPies | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | hilL-.^ | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | naju | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | der discoköniG | 62% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | suprsimn | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | tMY | 38% | 8 |
| #16 | Hotfix | 33% | 6 |
| #17 | poopickeR^^ | 33% | 6 |
| #18 | Harbinger | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der discoköniG | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | hilL-.^ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Hotfix | 2 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | oNLY- | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ChuWuepz | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hilL-.^ | 354 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #2 | der discoköniG | 224 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | naju | 125 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | oNLY- | 77 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | kaake | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hilL-.^ | +2.29 | 77 | 75 |
| #2 | LuckyPies | +1.89 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | oNLY- | +1.73 | 72 | 72 |
| #4 | enox | +1.46 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | rille | +1.33 | 85 | 75 |





