








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Esplay | 18 matches | 2,146 | |
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1945 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1292 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1585 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 784 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,606 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tMY | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | enox | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | hilL-.^ | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | der discoköniG | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | rille | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | der discoköniG | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | rille | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | Hotfix | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | poopickeR^^ | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | THEaiaN | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der discoköniG | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | hilL-.^ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | enox | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | rille | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | THEaiaN | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hilL-.^ | 301 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #2 | der discoköniG | 250 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hotfix | 74 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | enox | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | rille | 49 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hilL-.^ | +1.58 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | enox | +0.67 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | der discoköniG | +0.38 | 71 | 79 |
| #4 | tMY | -0.12 | 61 | 68 |
| #5 | naju | -0.24 | 64 | 78 |





