








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,480 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6212 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5722 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3453 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4739 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,534,089 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | jojo | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Kullirauta | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | arttU | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | SIPERIANTIIKERI | 50% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Lalsu | 44% | 52 |
| #9 | weekend warrior | 44% | 211 |
| #10 | Tunkki | 42% | 76 |
| #11 | Saddam Hussein | 37% | 38 |
| #12 | tauski | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tunkki | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Saddam Hussein | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | weekend warrior | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | SIPERIANTIIKERI | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weekend warrior | 455 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Masa Mainio | 355 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Tunkki | 210 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | tauski | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abu Omar al-Shishani | +4.97 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | arttU | +2.57 | 56 | 68 |
| #3 | Sam | +2.56 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | Tunkki | +2.47 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Masa Mainio | +2.06 | 57 | 79 |





