








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 233 | 18% |
| Smokes | 337 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 437 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 259 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,268 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fnagel | 77% | 13 |
| #6 | milk truck just arive | 73% | 33 |
| #7 | c9q9md ☺ | 72% | 29 |
| #8 | oknez | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | husky :3 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk truck just arive | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Fnagel | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | 1 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk truck just arive | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fnagel | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | c9q9md ☺ | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | oknez | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | husky :3 | 12 | 0.16 | 0 min |





